Sorry for the longest hiatus in blogger history, but with work and everything else going on, I’ve barely had time to keep track of the days. It’s been a while so there’s lots to tell, but of coarse there’s no new news on the baby front. Because of my new job I had to put off the last IUI and just my luck, had the AF that they wanted me to have…long, heavy and painful. The Dr. said that I needed one of those to start “fresh” and that I may have better results. Of coarse I skipped the IUI so who know’s, guess it wasn’t meant to be. Today marks CD2 for me, and lucky for us, we get to finish our last IUI. One year from the date that we started this whole mess. It’s funny as I look back over the past year, I think about how my hopes and expectations have changed in just a matter of 12 months. Last year, I was convinced that I would have a newborn this year, or at least be pregnant. Now, one year later, I can’t say that I even know what’s in store 6 months from now. Dh and I have given everything a lot of thought, and we decided that come April we will be going through with IVF. If that fails, then we will take a long break from baby making, dreaming, planning, etc. for about two years then start to think about adoption. I can’t believe this infertility journey has taken me from hopeful to regretful, disappointed to angry, and now I’ve finally come to acceptance. What do ya know, after actually seeing my stages, I realized they look a lot like the stages of grief. I’m moving on with my world, I won’t allow this to rule my life anymore. While I’ll always be hopeful, I have to remain grateful for the things that I have and work at the things that I can change, instead of obsess over the things I can’t. I’m sorry if this sounds like a pitty party, by no means do I want it to sound like that, in fact, I want it to sound like hope for anyone who is out there, that may, unfortunately be just beginning on this infertile journey. I’m happy at where we are now. I may not have everything that I want, but the most important things like, a husband who loves me, friends who support me, and a family to lean on, puppies who humor me, and a lifestyle I can be proud of. For now, I will count the blessings that I have. That’s all I can do.
I know I have been a HORRIBLE blogger, commenter, reader, etc., but I’m doing my best to change that. I have a million blogs to read, and probably a million more comments to make, but bear with me.