Everything happens for a reason

Last time I wrote here I was really having a hard time accepting that we chose to wait, then like as a sign from the Gods, I woke up sick. Not just a little cough, no, fever, ear ache, stuffy nose, sore throat, Nyquil sick. That was my confirmation that I needed that I made the right decision. Although being sick isn’t exactly all that fun.

Despite being sick and barely able to talk, it was a CRAZY weekend. Friday night a friend had a Playboy themed birthday party, complete with bunny ears and tails for all of us. We all had a really great time, even with my nasty hacking cough. Saturday we went to a house warming party and played Guitar Hero…Which I may add is the only video game that I’ve played…and LOVED IT. I’ve already asked DH for it. After the party it was on to a night of fun times downtown. I haven’t added that I had a “friend” here from back home right? Well, she was my best friend..in Junior High. Then we split and went to different HS’s and kinda lost touch. Our moms have worked together for like 12+ years now, but we still just grew apart. Then about three months ago we started talking again, but just through a text message, or by myspace…yes I said myspace, but hey that’s one of the best ways that I get to keep in touch with my family who’s spread across the globe. Anyways, she went through some crazy breakup and called to let me know that she wanted to come down and hang out with me. (i.e. she needed a place to stay). Actually our moms set it up and then told her that she should call me to see if that would work. So, thinking of my mother’s reaction if I said no, I told her it would be alright if she came. You know, those are the people that I can’t stand the most. She doesn’t give a damn about me, and wants to see me, she wants to use me. She said that she wanted to come here because she didn’t know anyone else that lived out of state except some of her extended family, so she thought it would be “cool to come down and catch up with me.” In other words, I was your last and only resort to a free motel?? Gee, makes me wonder why we ever lost touch?? I’ve been doing my best to make sure that she’s entertained, and then I thought to myself..Wait, she just called me out of the blue to ask if she could stay with me a week ago. We had already made plans for the weekend, and I didn’t want to reschedule them just b/c she was in town. So she tagged along with us from party to party, noticably annoyed at what we were doing. We’ve hardly talked to each other at all. I just can’t think of anything that I would talk to her about. She’s single, lives alone, uses daddy’s money to pay her bills, and spends her’s on whatever she chooses. We’re not exactly two peas in a pod. Maybe during my early teen years we were, but I’ve changed. I worry about drinking, and if it will affect getting pregnant, she makes drinking a habit. I pay a mortgage and utilities, she pays rent to her dad that owns the house she lives in. I went to school, she dropped out. As I was walkinng with her while she bought a Tiffany’s necklace with daddy’s credit card, I realized the person that I have become isn’t so bad.

Sure, I’m reproductively challenged..Thank you Charlotte, but as I was with her, I realized just how lucky I am. Sure I may not have a trust fund, but I have a wonderful husband, a nice home, and friends and family that I love. Sounds cheesy, but her being here has really opened my eyes to the person that I want to be, and the person that I don’t. Unlike her, I don’t wanna obsess about money and material things, because in the end, that’s all stuff that I couldn’t bring with me anyways. I want to focus on having a baby with the man that I love, building a home that I can be proud of, and live life for what it means to me.

She leaves on Tuesday, and I can’t be more ready for her departure. But, in a way I’m glad she came. Her snobby materialistic attitude reminded me of who I was, and who I want to be now. I want to be a better wife, a future mommy, and a nicer person. I got so caught up in my selfishness for a child, I kind of let everything else slip. This go round, when I do get pregnant with these treatments, I will keep in mind the lesson that I learned from her.


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