My Final Answer

AF should be out the door soon. She has been here a few days now, and I would really like her to leave before we leave for a weekend at the beach with some of our friends. AHHH, a weekend of tanning, BBQ’ing friends, and tanning. Yup, no surfing or swimming for me. The beach where I live, although warm, doesn’t have waves, its the Gulf. Although I love to swim, I really just don’t like to swim in the ocean for fear of what’s swimming with me. Trust me, things do swim with me, especially jelly fish, I have the scar to prove it. So, after that experience, I choose to look at the ocean and enjoy it from the nice warm sandy beach.

As you know, I have really been struggling as to what I should next with my fertility treatments and for right now I have decided to let go of some control, and chosen to follow my instincts. Right now, my instincts are telling me to wait another month, and then go ahead. They also told me to not lose hope. There is just something there that I can’t explain, I feel it though. It’s just saying give it some time, and you’ll enjoy the surprise. In the mean time, enjoy the present. I guess that works for me at this moment in time, ask me when I start on needle filled hormones and endo cams again, and I am sure I will be singing a new tune.

We are leaving in exactly one week for our trip. I have to say, I am acutally very excited..as if you couldn’t tell by the other million posts that talk about it. But hey, focusing on this trip has changed my obsession from baby making to vacation planning. Whatever helps I guess. I have yet to find a dress, clean my house, pack and lose some more weight. I guess that means I will just have to hide the excess fat under a beautiful A-lined dress with polka dots or ruffles…That way I can hide the hips and blame the dress for any “fat looks.” The rest of the time I will be wearing a swimsuit cover and loose jeans.

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