Obsessing Much???

I haven’t written in a few days, not because I haven’t had anything to say, just super busy with finals and everything else. It hasn’t slowed down any either. In fact, I know I’m only going to get busier by the day. But, with all the chaos, I still haven’t forgotten about trying, that’s for sure.

I’m pretty sure I ovulated either on Thursday or Friday. I didn’t use one O test at all..Although I did find myself checking my cervix and CM. I just couldn’t help it. I didn’t tell DH at all about any O days, just thought I would leave it up to him and see if he was in the mood, even though he is a pro at my cycle calendar too, and probably knows what day I’m on too. He didn’t say anything though. It was my bday weekend though, so I had a good excuse to want to BD. :0 I’m trying not to count days, and can only hope that these weeks are busy enough that I won’t really notice.

However, it was hard to notice when DH brought up “Sperm Donation!!” We went to see Tina Feye’s new movie, Baby Mama, actually really funny, even for an IF like me. Anyways, on the way home we got into the subject of surrogacy and embryo adoption and all that good stuff. Really, I do think it is truly a great gift that people do for strangers, I guess it just hurt my feelings, since DH said that he would be willing to donate now if someone needed to. Ahemmmm, what about you doing our donation. I know sounds selfish, but it wouldn’t have bothered me half as much if I didn’t know that one of his single co workers asked for the magic potion herself. DH actually thought about it, but I just didn’t even want to fathom that right now. You can say it, “Bitch, you are one heartless creature.” I know I know. I mean don’t get me wrong, I do think it is a great gift, I just don’t think it was even remotely sane to ask my DH esp. when she knows what we’re going through. Anyways, long story short, I got upset at just the thought that someone else was more than eager to carry my DH’s baby, and not even have the sense to ask me how I felt about the whole damn thing. I do have great compassion for donors like that, in fact, I always thought that I would totally be a surrogate for a set of parents, of coarse that was before I realized, I was one of “those parents.” Now, I have the most amazing friends who are both willing to do that for us now if we wanted it. I’m truly grateful to them, and have even thought long and hard about the whole thing, I guess, I just feel like I can’t give up yet.  Needless to say, DH won’t be giving the gift of life anytime soon. Or at least until I’m done having kids, which I’m sure will be a bit longer than she has time for.

On another note, the Beach Bash went great!! All of my friends that live here came, and it was the best night DH and I have had in a long time..at least the parts that I remember. The margaritas were fabulous. 😮 I read that alcohol consumption and smoking can lower your fert. rates by up to 50%, I didn’t smoke, but there was enough people there that did, that I don’t think it would have mattered if I smoked one myself. So with booze lowering it by 50% and smoking another 50% my odds are well…none right? Oh well, I told myself that this was a time for me and DH and so far it has been. We have really enjoyed ourselves these past few weeks.

On Friday we went to a going away party for some friends that are deploying with the US Marines in Afghanistan so if you don’t mind, will you say a little prayer for them, or just keep them in your thoughts. They’re some of our best friends and I can’t imagine anything happening to them.


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