Well today was my first u/s for this cycle. I got lucky today and was able to ask the questions that have been on my mind. I got both of the nicest Drs. in the clinic. One was pg. of course, the other way too hot to be a male gyno…made me blush. They started my u/s and by the looks on their faces I knew it was bad news. Right ovary looked great she said. There they were, 6 follicles less than 10, good for a day 4 she said. Then she moved to the left and I saw both faces drop. After hmming and haaaing they turned the screen so that I could see it…there it was a beautiful cyst!!!! WTF, can’t I catch a break??!! Oddly enough I had figured the slight pain I was feeling was due to a cyst. I WebMd’d and Googled and came to the conclusion that yes, it was a cyst. So when I walked in today I was pretty accepting of the whole thing. Even a little relieved actually. My pains were verified, I wasn’t crazily dreaming or thinking I was in pain, I actually was. That made me feel better, maybe I’m not as big of a hypochondriac as Dh thinks I am??
Anyways, back to the story, the Drs. requested to see me in the other office and I knew that was never good news, they never have time to “talk.” He did say that the cyst was concerning, but they would have to wait to see my numbers to see if it is having any affect on my levels. If it did, they would have to say “no” for the cycle. But, good news, I wouldn’t have to do the Clomid, and could wait to start fresh next month. Not exactly what I had in mind, and it would mean that I would have to hope that 2009 would bring me baby blankets and booties. But, it would give me and DH time to sort all of these emotions out. It’s been one thing after another, and to be able to slow down and enjoy the show again would be nice. I’m not disappointed, angry or discouraged, I just feel like its just one more bump in the long hard road we have been traveling down for years. What’s one month…I’ve gone over 24 months already. More than that if you consider the time that I have not been on b.c. I’ll wait for my levels, see where we’re at and hope that someone up there has some type of reason to all of this rhyme. I’m still breathing, which means I’m still alive, therefore I still have hope. Yup, that will be motto I guess.