What are my eggs doing now?

AHHH!!! I can’t stop thinking about my damn eggs. Did they get fertilized, I’m sure with DH’s super sperm award they had a fighting chance, but have any of the 2 made it? What are they doing? Have they been fertilized? Are they traveling through my tubes? Have they implanted, or is my body preparing for AF =( again? Every month I have these same damn questions, and every month the same red answer. I’m 3dpIUI now and all I can think about is this. I have a ton of homework to do and should be working right now, but my mind is only focused on these tiny microscopic eggs. I keep poking my boobs to see if they’re sore, and trying to tell if I might get sick at any moment. Scary I know, but maybe if I psych my body out maybe she’ll get the hint. Short of hanging a “no AF welcome here” sign on my uterus I don’t know what else I can do. My DH just says that I should take it easy and stop trying to control everything, but damn it..its MY body I should be able to have control. Every other fertile woman seems to do just fine. She can decide when she wants or doesn’t want to have kids? Why can’t I tell my body that I’ve wanted a kid for the past two years!! Well, I guess I can go back to work and try to something productive instead of staring at my boobs to see if they’ve grown any more. Maybe I’ll just go buy a smaller bra to have them appear bigger to me so I can focus on my studying. Whatever!!! I guess I’ll just wait this painful wait and keep every bone in my body crossed, look for any four leaf clover, and avoid black cats. =)


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